...
Okay, point taken. But after two years of working at a writing center, I've realized that there are some grammar issues that still need addressing among a society using abbreviated words and (ugh) autocorrect.
The first thing that people need to realize is that when writing in a word document, spell-check does not catch everything. Yes, I know that's hard to believe, and it may have broken your hearts, but it's the truth. Do not rely on spell-check. While it may be helpful for the basics, it is generally deceptive and a fiend. It tells me my last name is spelled incorrectly all the time, and, despite the beliefs of the daycare provider when I was in second grade, I am actually spelling my last name correctly.
Names are not the only things that spell-check is deceptive about, however. Spell-check has issues with sentence structure when it goes beyond the boundaries of simple subject-verb-end punctuation. I usually find spell-check asking me if I mean to put a semicolon where I put a comma, and usually the answer is, "No, spell-check. I put a comma there because a comma should be there." The use of commas and semicolons are typically the punctuation errors I've seen throughout my time working at the writing center. Commas are punctuation marks from hell, mostly because there are so many rules to them, and I rarely come across people who use a semicolon correctly and can actually explain why they put it there (if you are one of those people, kudos to you).
So, the question I would like to address is: When do I use a semicolon vs. a comma?
The general purpose of semicolons is to combine two independent clauses.
But, Andrea, what's an independent clause?
Despite popular belief, an independent clause is NOT, in fact, Santa after a divorce with Mrs. Claus.
...No? Okay.
An independent clause is a sentence that can stand on its own because it has both a subject and a verb.
Ex: My aunt snores.
So, one of the ways to combine two independent clauses together is with a semicolon.
Ex: My aunt snores; I leave.
If you put a comma where that semicolon is right now, that is called a comma splice.
INCORRECT: My aunt snores, I leave.
Every time someone uses a comma splice, a potato gets kicked in the face. And nobody likes bruised potatoes.
However, if you absolutely feel the burning desire to put a comma there in between those two independent clauses, you may only do so with a conjunction (For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So, etc. This can be remembered through the acronym, FANBOYS. Thank you to Mrs. Olson, my seventh grade Language Arts teacher).
Ex: My aunt snores, so I leave.
Seems easy enough, right?
Here's the part where it gets a little bit tricky.
The second major rule for semicolons is to separate units in a list when the units in said list contain one or more commas.
Huh?
Allow me to provide you with an example.
Ex: My three favorite cities are Buffalo, New York; London, England; and Toronto, Canada.
Now let's see how it would look if you just put commas where the semicolons are.
INCORRECT: My three favorite cities are Buffalo, New York, London, England, and Toronto, Canada.
It just looks confusing and disorganized that way. And you want to be nice to your readers.
And that was our lesson on commas and semicolons today. Hope someone learned something. I know Santa did.
